September 18, 2012

A Stricter Cora?

Ms. Deirdre of the 'Spanking My Husband' blog just posted something that I found very thought provoking:  Turning Into A Stricter Wife. (Note: Ms. Deirdre has just posted a follow up to this post).

In her post she indicated that both she and her husband, Evan have been very happy in their marriage but that Ms. Deirdre didn't feel as 'Deirdre-Led' as she would have liked over the past few years.  I won't quote her entire post but the bottom line is that she opened up a dialog with her husband.

Communication:  What a Concept!

What she found is that Evan wanted her to be more 'strict' with him and take the leadership role more in their relationship.  Oh, how I identified with them.  Naturally, I shared her post with Cora and mentioned that I thought our relationship is in a similar state. 

A couple of posts ago (August 14, to be exact) I mentioned that I expected Cora was going to deliver a rather intense paddling for my misbehaviour.  Well, that didn't happen.  She did give me an OTK spanking a couple of days ago for something I did but while it did turn my bottom red, it wasn't as intense as I have been feeling the need for. 

So while I feel the relationship between Cora and I keeps getting better than ever, I also feel that its not as 'Cora-Led' as I would like.  I would love her stricter side to come out and believe me, I know there are times I irritate her.  I guess I have to admit, in some cases I may have provoked her to see what she would really do. 

I know that if Cora stepped up her role as my disciplinarian we would both benefit.  Sure, I would suffer a sore bottom more often but I know its something that I need in my life.  I am very attracted to the Dominant Woman in Cora, however she seems to be repressing her inner Domme, at this time.  And I know that she always feels better after delivering a good spanking.  Both as a reduction of stress and perhaps a bit of sexual energy, too.  I know I experience both of these affects.

It is interesting that just this morning I have shared several e-Mails with another husband who has been wanting his wife to become more strict.  I am guessing there are lots of us who are in the same position. 

So how do we accomplish getting our Ladies to be more strict?  Well, in my case, this blog is a major communication tool.  Cora will be reading it and I am sure it will generate lots of dialog between us.  And I have already had her read Ms. Deidre's post. 


Deirdre above Evan said...

Dear Ken (& Cora):

I could be wrong, but I think you might have this conversation with Cora in private rather than over the web. This is a very personal discussion for both you and her. It's probably best not to have it in public.

And there is no wrong answer from Cora: maybe she doesn't want to be "strict" with you in the way that I am with Evan. Everyone is different: we all have our likes and dislikes. Maybe this is too far removed from her natural sweet personality, so that she doesn't feel comfortable going there. You have to respect that, if it's the case. Not everyone can be demanding and strict: for many people, these seem like bad character traits. So tread carefully here.

Cora, try not to be offended by Ken's manner here. Try to think of him as an immature boy. That's basically what he is. I wish you happiness and contentment. Don't let Ken pressure you into something that you don't want to do.


Njspank said...


Not that I have th right to communicate or suggest this to you but you two always encourage open discussion and conversation.

Ms. Cora is a true lady and a beautiful one at that, I would let her lap and her beauty led you both.

Cora and yourself have inspired so many of us as does Deirdre and Julie, so go for it it it makes sense to you both.

Hey, you and Cora are amazing!

With much respect and regards,

Respecting Mistress said...

Hi Ken and Cora. Do you think this is something to do with the changing seasons? We've been out and about all summer long with so many different things to do and now the prospect of being indoors all snug and cosy in the autumn (Fall) and winter months leads to thought of picking up our more disciplined lifestyles? I've recently posted very similar thoughts to you (though our DD has been on hold for different reasons)and I read Deirdre's post too and it's all about the Lady of the house becoming stricter. I'm not sure about Deirdre's comments that you should be having the conversation with Cora and not viewing your thoughts openly. Of course, her relationship with Evan might be very different to our with our ladies and she's very entitled to her views. But from your posts in the past and this one, it seems that Cora regularly reads your blog so it's not like some secret your are keeping from her. Likewise in my relationship with Mistress. We've discussed the need to resume our DD for a while and, while my most recent blog is all my own thoughts, Mistress will read them before we sit down to discuss in detail how to progress. It's going to be interestingbg for both our relationships I think. I just hope we don't both end up saying that old DD cliche, 'be careful what you wish for!' Good luck to you both.

Anonymous said...

If I may offer the perspective of a long spanked husband to this excellent conversation: most submissive males do think they want their wives or girlfriends to be stricter. But often especially in the earlier stages of the relationship we men send conflicting signals. “Yes I want strictness but not now during the game” Or “you are spanking too hard and I can’t take any more of it”. Or you can’t spank me after an orgasm “and etc. In short we set conditions on a women’s authority and that makes our wives or girlfriends think it is just a fantasy that we want strictness and real discipline. The solution I think is that women who take on the disciplinarian role really do have to be firm and determined to carry out discipline once it is decided. Deirdre’s wonderful post on ear puling illustrates one way to do that. But the other part of the solution is that we submissive men need to stop sending the mixed signals and take our punishment when it is ordered and remind ourselves that we asked for it, need it and probably deserve it. My own personal epiphany was many years ago with the first women who seriously spanked me. I jumped off the bed during several of her spankings because I thought I could not take any more. It was doing great harm to the relationship and I think she was one more episode from dumping me. But thankfully I realized it wasn’t the pain I was resisting as much as being out of control. I willed myself to endure to the end the next several spankings she administered and I experienced for the first time that joy and relaxation that comes from completing submitting. Since then I have never tried to stop a spanking once it had started (I have tried to talk my wife out of it) I still make plenty of noise cries and promises when she is administering. But I learned that if I wanted my wife to exercise real authority and strictness I had to submit to her. That’s something every male needs to learn

Anonymous said...

Well put! Over the years, I have learned that my wife will spank or whip me not only when I have deserved it (as I often do), but also when she feels "in the mood" to do so (for whatever reason)

Of course it stings (and subsequent "corner time" adds to the sense that she is "in charge"), but the ensuing "making up" is delightful...

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