December 1, 2011

It Takes Work

I spend quite a bit of time on the net.  Usually it involves reading the blogs from others who engage in Female Led Relationships, but I also subscribe to lots and lots of Yahoo Groups. 

One of those groups is 'Spanked_by_their_Wives' and is one of the more active groups and thanks to the moderator, is frequented by 'real' people.  Today one of the Wives posted something that really hit home with us.  Her post started with the acknowledgement that she was married to a 'great guy', but a recognition that a 'typical male needs to be put back in line once in a while'.  Well said.

Her post further described how their busy life was interfering with their FLR and she even took responsibility for 'letting it go too long' and had been 'remiss not to correct a few issues'.  She then described how she 're-acquainted' her husband with her hair brush.  From her comments it appears that he got the message and described how he did his 'chores' immediately after getting home from work.

Oh how this hit home.  (Pun Intended)

Our own relationship has been drifting in the same direction.  The stuff of life has been getting in the way of our FLR, something that both Cora and I consider a very important part of our relationship.

Cora and I first met over 5 years ago and are only 6 months from celebrating 5 wonderful years of living together.  Wonderful years, indeed.  As I have described in past posts, when I introduced Cora to spanking and stuff, she began by taking the 'submissive' side.  So we 'played' with things with her taking her share of spankings.  Of course, my main wiring is oriented toward me taking the submissive role and I really preferred it when Cora delivered spankings to me.  Ultimately, Cora's dominant side emerged and much to my delight, we engaged in a FLR where she is in charge and I am subject to discipline when she deems it necessary.

I certainly acknowledge that all relationships have their ups and downs and while Cora has not been as assertive about her role as I would like, we have a really, really great life together.  So, when I read the post on Spanked_by_their_Wives, I thought I'd take advantage and share it with Cora.  And we have been discussing this all day. 

Now, specifically, today Cora resolved a situation with her health insurance that had been bothering her for several days.  It had been really bothering her and she was dreading having to face it.  Coincidentally, she had designated today for me to help her go through all her documentation and try to get it resolved.  We did!

So once we had this 'life issue' behind us, we started discussing our FLR in the context of the post of the other woman.  I tried to point out to Cora that she has been 'holding back' and perhaps 'remiss' in not correcting a 'few issues'.

For example, during our photo session last Tuesday (resulting in the pix of Cora in her tight riding pants), I was having trouble with the flash in the strobe lights.  While I was trying to resolve this issue, Cora showed up all dressed up and ready to go.  She was in a great mood ready to do her part as Super-Model.  However, I was in a Grr Argh mood, with the problems I was having.  In essence I was being rude and off-putting.  Cora stepped out until I figured out how to work-around my problem.  Truly, this was behavior that should have earned me an on-the-spot spanking, or at least a 'Notice of Discipline' slip.  Instead, Cora just shrugged it off.  In discussions today, she indicated that she felt 'guilty' and did not pursue any actions towards me.

I pointed out that this should have been about my behavior and not about her taking on the 'guilt' of it.  We further discussed previous scenarios and I kept pointing out that she was taking on the responsibility for my behavior.  I think the light bulb  went on when I pointed out her way of handling things.

I really love all the aspects of our FLR, whether they encompass the 'fun spankings' Cora gives me or the times she needs to really 'lay down the law' and hold me accountable for my bad behavior.  Sure those times are no fun but I can tell that when she does hold me accountable, my focus returns and my behavior changes (at least for a while).  Its something that I not only ask for but need.  Need it bad.  Just like most of the guys in these FLR relationships (or at least according to the feedback I get from them).

I am hoping that Cora and I will take a view of our relationship from a higher altitude and re-new the dynamics that work so well for us.  In fact, I think I will re-negotiate our 'contract'.  Its about 3 years old and lots has happened during those years, such as our Notice of Discipline and Request for Discipline forms.  A new contract would probably make a good post here, on our blog, and if we get there we'll share it.

So, our thanks to the woman who posted her situation on 'Spanked_by_their_Wives'.  It opened up a very productive dialog.  In fact Cora instructed me to 'bend over' our bed, bared my bottom and proceeded to spank me with her hand, small paddle and one of her other 'Bedroom Rack' implements.  My bottom is still tingling.  I love it and love Cora even more!


Anonymous said...

Great post Ken, nice to see Cora keeping you in line.

The same can be said here also, and it means a lot to have the understanding of these fantastic Women in our lives.

I know we belong to a lot of the same Yahoo groups, because I see you post to some of them.

I think we all get into a rut, especially when real life intercedes. But it appears our Wives know how to deal with it!!

Lucky for us.


Anonymous said...

Thanks Ken for a very insightful post.

I belong to a spanko group that has a chat room. It is a real pleasure to share experiences with my friends a couple of times a week. It breaks up the mundane events of the week.

My wife is also wonderful and understanding. Not an FLR relationship, but she is a good spanker.

Thanks Ken,


Underling said...

What a lovely, open-hearted post Ken. As you say, all relationships take work and female-led/ disciplinary ones more than most. I hope yours continue to grow in a direction that makes you both very happy.

Oh, and if Cora isn't always as assertive as you'd like - you'd never know it from the pictures! :)

Njspank said...

Amazing story and thanks, you two remain an inspiration with your spankings and your love


Anonymous said...

Yes, great post. Congrats on the about 5 Year mark! (usually mark means something else on the blogs...heh)
Love to hear how things work out. And, those stern pictures of Cora... well, a total delight as well! :)

Respecting Mistress said...

Wow Ken, I'd not been online for ages and just posted why on our blog. Then I start to catch up with all my favourites and I read that you too have had some issues with your flr. As James says maybe sometimes we all get in a rut. In our case the rut was created by me - but hopefully we're getting out of it now. Good to see you are back on track. Cora in that riding gear looks sensational! Looking forward to read how things progress for you two