June 3, 2010

The Potential Rise in FLR

One of the things I have really found to be a benefit from creating this blog is the interaction with many of the readers. This interaction may be by comments that are posted, e-Mail, and chat sessions. Since my retirement, my social interaction from my internet contacts has well exceeded all other sources. Before retirement, my main social interaction occurred through the workplace.

A few days ago, I had someone initiate a chat with me. As it turned out, he was just a year older than me (62) so we had very similar backgrounds and much in common (including a fascination for women wearing girdles and the power they generate - perhaps the subject of a future post). Anyway, I made a comment to him that I thought that while there are many, many men of our generation who strongly desired a FLR, most of them ended up with women who refused to engage with the desires of their spouses. The result is that many of these frustrated men seek professional Dommes to get their needs met or live vicariously through the lucky ones who do have a spouse who does engage in a FLR (such as myself).

However, I have noticed that younger couples, seem to have much more success with setting up a working FLR. Resources (mostly available as a result of the internet) such as the DWC, the SMTR forum and blogs have provided comfortable places for women to explore a FLR (and the potential benefits). There are women who have actually initated the FLR (something almost not-existant in those of my generation). Several women have even established blogs and have so eloquently expressed their views and intimate details with their submissive husbands. I truly believe that there are more and more husbands being spanked by their wives than ever before (as I think it should be).

I would predict that the dynamics in marriages are undergoing a major change and that most people are completely unaware it is happening. If you do a bit of research on the internet, you will find that women are beginning to far exceed men in college enrollment and the numbers are even more favorable to women when you consider those earning degrees. The numbers show that soon, two thirds of college graduates (TWO THIRDS) will be women. Just think, for every male graduate, there will be two women!

I have always felt that women had been repressed in the workplace and I used to take note of the gender differences in the staff meetings I used to attend. I was promoted into management in 1984 and at that time, there may have been only 1 or 2 women included in some of the meetings I used to attend. However, by the time I retired while women were still in the minority, their presence was much more prevalent. I was delighted and my own replacement was a woman!

To my male readers: Note that women are beginning to be more of a factor in leadership roles. I hesitate to use the term 'take over' but in the next 20 to 40 years, I predict women will be in charge of so many things, including our country, our corporations (just in time to save our planet) and certainly their marriages. And I am delighted.

To my Female readers: Get ready to take on more responsibility than your mothers ever imagined. The world will soon be back in your capable hands.

I am not one who follows the traditional religious pathways, but I predict that if the established religions continue to refuse to allow women to take leadership roles, these religions will wither and die. I expect we will return to Goddess oriented religions. And again, I am delighted.

In the past, when I have posted my thoughts about things like this, there were few comments. I would plea to those of you who read this to post a comment. Perhaps many of you think I am just on a soapbox, blowing a large volume of hot air. What do you think?


Anonymous said...

Great posting and very insightful in terms of where things may be heading, but I think the "cause and effect" may be slightly off. I don't think FLR is becoming more prevalent because women are changing. Rather, it is gaining traction because more prevalent because more men suddenly feel "liberated" enough to ask to change the dynamic such that they don't always have to play the role of the one in control. As you said, most FLR relationships are instituted by the male. Twenty years, most of them never would have asked.

widgets said...

Definitely not! This will lead to more negotiating and a better position. Even religion is finally starting to see the way with female ministers and rabbi's. The monoliths of men only are disappearing through out the world.

Ron said...

Good evening,

Not sure what to say. I do agree the younger generation seems to be some what more liberal in their thinking as relates to FLR. Not sure it is tied to anything more than this generation is closer to their feelings, needs and desires than we were.

Having said that, no doubt our generation is still struggling for some of the answers, perhaps the way we were raised but FLR was not the way in my generation although mom was always the spanker, or an aunt or neighbor. Males were the last resort.

I do agree with Reece, men are becoming more free thinking and yes we are asking for our spouses to take the lead and become the lap in our lives.

It is so hard to get over some of the old time thinking but blogs and relationships likes yours are an inspiration.

It is funny when you realize it is not that weird to want your wife to spank you, to be there to relieve the stress that life cause and be your lap of comfort.

Anyway, sorry, went off but wonderful lines, thank you for the thoughts.

Best regards


Anonymous said...

Great post! I fall into the category of men who were unable to establish a female-led relationship in my marriage but who were successful doing so following a divorce. I will never know if it was a matter of meeting the woman who was right for me or some change in society that enabled this to happen (made my second partner more open to this). I feel like I am the same strong loving man I have always been. However, support groups that help women to adopt this lifestyle have certainly be helpful.

Ron said...

I wanted to add this morning that yes some of us do live thru relationships like yours but more so, for at least me, we are inspired by your relationship. Yes seeing pros is an outlet, but as we have spoken off line, it many times adds even more stress and trauma in our lives. You know you want to be spanked, you are spanked but it is always with an edge to it being you are really doing something that is not right. But until your, my, spouse understands, it is the only alternative.

Again however blods like yours and Deirdre's are really good for us, it helps us to try harder to have our spouse entertain a FLR.

I do appreciate your comments and blog, thank you so much.

Enjoy and be well.


widgets said...

Did you know that in Japan it is the woman who controls the purse in a relationship and the men are given an allowance. There was an article on this in Living on the Niekki website.

Anonymous said...

So you were promoted to management in 1984 - when did you retire? I ask this because what generation one was from might affect the perception good or bad of the current changes in the workplace.

Briefly I'll give you the scoop on increased female enrollment in colleges because it seems quite obvious, that like most people, you've never taken time to consider the larger sociological and biological forces that shape your day to day environment. Probably because you were so busy chasing power and pussy when younger, plus the internet wasn't around.

Increased female enrollment is the result of several things and has several consequences you may not have considered:

A. Men are still expected to be the providers in our western societies. This means that expensive college (and it is very expensive these days) won't be oonsidered by young men unless it pays off. Most college degrees are relatively worthless (esp those in the humanities)economically, so sometimes it pays off to drop out or not spend the money and instead go into plumbing, construction, or some other low status and dangerous but higher than average pay profession

B. Most women (much more as a percentage than men) are getting relatively worthless degrees. English, communications, that sort of thing. Only a few are going into the sciences. Indeed, there's now talk of enforcing Title IX in the STEM fields. If done this would be a disaster , same as Title IX has been a minor disaster in college sports and would have been a major one by now if the Bush administration hadn't allowed schools to use surveys of female sports interest when considering compliance.
C. Of course when women do enter professional fields they tend to drop out when they have children. This is causing lots of consternation in Britain as many female Doctors quit to become mothers not very long after they finish their taxpayer funded educations.
D. Given the above and that women as a grouo tend to reward powerful or wealthy men,I doubt women will be holding most of the formal reigns of power in my lifetime, or indeed, ever. Women as a group do not desire power in the same ways as men, nor do they have pressure on them to acheive it or be considered worthless. I also see no need to pedestalize female power wielders. They've proven over time to be just as bloody as male ones. But hey, if you think women deserve power because they are all sugar and light, perhaps you could explain the White Feather campaign in Britain during World War 1, or all the letters supporting/nay DEMANDING war from the wives/girlfriends of civil war soldiers. Nice to demand what you don't have a personal risk in, isn't it?

Female lead relationships? I have no problem with them, but I do consider it likely that the traits that lead to a female domme are both repressed (which we men can help emerge or to unshame) AND less prevalent in the collective female psyche. I'm afraid, what I'm saying is that as a group women are more sexually submissive then men, and I'd farther state this is at least partly biologically based. So hoping for FLR to become the norm is probably akin to hoping Santa Claus will come down the chimney this year.


Vanessa Chaland said...

Some of you are still doing that "thing" where you talk about us as if we were dogs or mules that are being trained for a job.

I disagree that more FLR relationships are existing because more men are asking for it. That would only hold water if women were receptive to it, in order to please the male half,,, only.

I assure you that out of all my girlfriends, there are only two,,,maybe three, that would even consider such a thing. So out of perhaps 100, roughly 2 percent. The rest want an in charge male and would dump, divorce, mock and loathe a boyfriend that wanted to submit to her, in any fashion.

The women of the younger generation are more 'open' as they/we don't have to be otherwise. We no longer need men for security, money, (witness the females in college points made) and many are fully able to figure out how to repair their own homes after having purchased one. Money is the great equalizer, which often comes from education. And of course modern day society, fairly safe cities, roads, etc makes it easy for a single, ambitious, motivated and demanding, yes also sexually demanding woman to insist on what she wants and deserves.

Sorry for rambling. :)

Anonymous said...

Vanessa Chaland:
I don't think you were rambling. As I said in my comment, I will never know if my partner's receptiveness to a female-led relationship is part of a larger trend in society. One thing I do know is that we both had access to forums and discussion groups that eased our pathway into the lifestyle and which did not even exist several years ago (at least the ones we use). Communicating with other women enabled my partner to see that mainstream folk have female-led relationships - it's not just something limited to the s&m crowd, as she put it. It helped us both enormously because it offered a support network.

Whatever the percentages that exist of women who might desire or enjoy a female-led relationship, I am content with an N of 1. :)

spankedbywife said...

As I stated in this post, I really enjoy the interaction that has resulted from creating this blog. And the interaction from all of you on this topic, especially has been amazing. I appreciate all the comments, especially from those of you who don't agree with my viewpoint.

Perhaps I over-reached, in my thoughts about a change in the gender balance of power (perhaps over-optimistic is a better way to put it). However, I do believe that there is a definite shift.

And while we might not expect FLR to become the 'norm', I still believe that their numbers are rising and that younger generation men and women will have an easier time setting one up if the two partners both desire a FLR. There is such better (and 'friendlier') sources of information that allows exploration in a more 'comfortable' environment than was available in my younger days of the 1960's and 1970's.

And finally, I know that my writings come from the male perspective (mine). But when comments come from women like Vanessa and Rachael, its like a breath of fresh air and a much needed reality check.

Again, thanks for all the comments. This topic has been a fantastic learning experience.