Inspiration

I have been exchanging e-Mails with James, who hosts the 'Spankedmale' blog, one of my favorites.  We had been discussing some of the ways we had been introduced into the 'Wonderful World of Female Spankers'.

James spoke about an earlier experience he had and that there was a description of it in one of his first posts.  Since its been a while since I had read some of these early posts, I decided to go back and take another look at them.  And even though I have yet to read about the specific experience he was referring to, his sixth post really got my attention.  Again.  I did remember reading it previously.  In it he describes a visit to a Lady quite early in his spanking 'career'.  After the usual initial greetings, she had James stand beside her and proceeded with the ritual removal of the pants.  He then went on to describe:

"She pushed her dress and slip back off her lap, and I was able to see the top of her stockings, and the tabs from her girdle that held them in place."

Anyone who has read our blog knows that I am absolutely captivated by a woman wearing a girdle, stockings and that Cora loves to wear them (Lucky me!).  I guess its a product of the time I grew up in that lends itself to my attraction to a woman dressed this way.

At about the same time I was reading James' blog (well, re-reading, actually), Cora announced that she wanted to go out and about and that she would even wear one of her girdles.  Well, this coincidence was almost too good to be true.  Naturally I complied with Cora's wishes and out we went.  Cora looked her usual elegant and well, ... just HOT!

I had shared James' e-Mail with Cora and when we returned home I asked if she would like to re-create James' scenario.  "Sure", she replied.  After all she was already dressed and all she had to do was lift her skirt, take me over her knee and spank me good and hard.  Needless to say, she did, but not before I was able to snap a few quick pictures.

James, thanks for the inspiration, but oh how Cora can spank with that hairbrush!

Shopping with Dogs

We recently heard of objections to shopping with your dog.  Well, Cora and I are very proud of our dogs and in so many ways they are our best friends.  And we love to go shopping with them.  Here in West Seattle, they are not only welcome in many of the stores here but many of the store owners know them by name - all three of them.

So while this may be a little 'off topic', Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays (Yule is already past) from all five of us.

Cora, Ken, Gypsy, Devi, and Vixen
(Way to go, Rex!)

Pegging: A Follow Up

We certainly didn't expect to get as many comments from our previous post on 'Pegging'.  However, we did receive lots of comments (we love them) and rather than just post another comment, we decided to post a follow up.

First, thanks to Joey, SometimesSpanked and Dana who recognized the fact that pegging is an activity that we might be reluctant to share.  Again, Red's poll helped and we do try to keep our posts in the spirit of a 'Female Led Relationship'.  I guess that worked!

Second, it was a surprise to hear that not all the men who engage in this activity are 'submissive'.  As Bogey from 'Our Bottoms Burn' asked: Can you be 'Apha' and enjoy pegging?  Apparently, the answer is 'Yes'.  However, as indicated by Harry, there is a definite 'power exchange'.  This concept of a power exchange was also mentioned by Rob.  We both believe that the power exchange in a Pegging Scenario is awesome.  Thanks for the enlightening comments.  We had no idea.

It is interesting to note that I, like James, find that our Ladies like to peg us only occasionally.  I think James would agree with me that we'd really like them to 'Take' us more often. 

And speaking of the Ladies.  Two of the comments came from women.  Mistress Aimee spoke of pegging as lovely and totally erotic and not a form of 'punishment'.  We do agree and as Ms. Deirdre so eloquently said, its an erotic act of my submission to Cora and an erotic act of her dominance over me.  Dana also mentioned this same concept.

And Ms. Julie:  You never cease to amaze us.  No, Cora doesn't require me to get down on my knees and take it in the mouth.  However, Cora hadn't really thought of doing that either.  At least not until you suggested it.  And I might make a humble observation:  The younger generation of women who engage in FLR's with their men, seem to be much more likely to try new and incredibly creative ideas that their deliciously devious minds seem to keep coming up with.  This is a theme that seems to be common among many of the blogs written by the women.  We think its great and can only think of how lucky their men are, to be part of this trend.

One last thing; thanks for all the wonderful comments about Cora's pix.  Of course, she loves to hear all the complements.  We were both wondering how the photos of her strap on would be received.  We were certainly not disappointed.  By the way,  Cora loves the harness she chose.  Its a 'Joque' model from SpareParts.  Cora has found this particular harness to be very comfortable and she loves the adjustability.  Also, I think what's mounted in her harness is the 'Mistress'.  Indeed, its well named!

Pegging

Human sexuality is an amazing thing and the subject of lots and lots of books, articles, movies and discussion between those of us affected by sexuality (that would be all of us).  There is a rainbow of orientations and I feel that I am no exception:  I am a submissive male.  And proud that I know that about myself.
I guess I was lucky to grow up in an environment devoid of guilt about sexuality.  So, I came to terms with my orientation early and have learned to enjoy (and exploit) it. So, it should be no surprise that I shared my submissive nature with Cora early in our relationship. My relationship with her is very rich and I believe we satisfy each other's needs in so many ways (not just the sexual needs, although we do a pretty good job there).

It was Deirdre of the 'Spanking My Husband' blog (sadly currently inactive) who came up with a piece of wisdom that really stuck with me and I like to refer to it often.  Some of the things I do with Cora might be labeled by others as 'humiliation'.  However, I really don't like that word or its inherent implication.  Instead, I like to think that when I bend over and present my bottom to Cora for a spanking, its an 'erotic act of my submission to her'.  I like that concept much better and it does better describe where my 'head' is at.

Many of you are familiar with our 'Notice of Discipline' and I have sent dozens of the original Microsoft Word file to many of you.  And its great to get the feedback on how well they have been received and even put to use. 

However, one thing I thought I would get questions about was the little item under 'Discipline Recommendation(s)': Pegging. 

Fellow blogger, Red over at 'Consensual Spanking', posted about this subject on November 30, 2011.  He got quite a bit of response and opened a poll.  The results of this poll is what made me feel much more comfortable about our own posting about this subject.  An admission that Cora has pegged me, too.

Red's poll (updated per December 17, 2011) currently shows 231 responses with 92 responders admitting that they had been pegged by their partners and 106 indicating that they had not been pegged but were interested.  That's almost 86% of responders indicating that they either had been or were open to the idea of being pegged.  Only 14 % indicated that they were not interested.  Wow!  I had no idea that Red's poll would be so overwhelmingly open to this subject.

In case you weren't aware, 'Pegging' is a term that was coined by a local columnist in the Seattle newspaper, 'The Stranger'.  And, if you don't know, 'Pegging' refers to being 'taken' by your Lady while she is wearing a 'Strap-On'.  There is an excellent description on 'Wikipedia'.  Just enter 'Pegging' into your search engine and you should easily find it.

So, I finally decided to 'come out of the closet' and admit that Pegging is a practice that Cora uses on me.  I have been reluctant to admit that we engage in it, but with the numbers from Red's poll, I decided to post about it.  Some connect this practice with homosexuality, but I can assure you, I am as heterosexual as they come.  (Not that I have anything against our homosexual brothers and sisters; in fact both Cora and I have several homosexual friends and embrace their sexuality, as well as our own).

While we don't really use Pegging as a form of 'punishment', it certainly fulfills Ms. Deirdre's definition:  I am feeling very submissive to Cora when she is 'taking me' but its a very erotic experience and feeling.  Erotic, indeed.

There is so much more that could be discussed about this and Cora and I would be willing to share some of our experiences, preferences for 'tools' and even some 'educational' material, but we thought we'd see the initial response.

What do you think?????????

Update:

The above was written at the beginning of December (with the exception of the updates to Red's poll data).  However, as most of you know, we like to include pictures that help illustrate the subject of the post.  In this case, we had nothing in our 'archives' that would be appropriate.  So we planned on taking some pictures that would show Cora in her Strap-on harness with the dildo 'mounted' accordingly.

Well, sometimes the best laid plans get delayed and this was no exception.  So finally earlier this evening after returning from a little shopping, Cora instructed me to 'stay downstairs'.  She had something planned.

So I occupied myself with some computer geek stuff and waited.  Soon I heard Cora come down the stairs and slip into the living room of our house.  As the lights on the stairs were dark I did not see her.  Soon, however, I heard her beckon me, "Come in here."

Much to my surprise, Cora had dressed up in one of her all-in-one girdles, stockings and boots.  In addition, she had donned her strap-on harness, a red dildo and trimmed everything in garland and a battery powered set of Holiday lights.  She topped it all off with a Santa hat.  I laughed out loud. 

"Lets take some pictures", she said, smiling.  So out came the camera and you can see some of the results.  I must say that Cora's creativity NEVER ceases to amaze me.  I have no idea where she comes up with these zany concoctions but I am so thankful that she does.  Getting her in front of a camera is always an adventure.  Oh, how I love her!

Cora and Her Electric, Holiday Dildo

So Happy Holidays to you all.  And for the gentlemen who read this Cora has this advice: 

"Be Good or Else!"

The Classic Over The Knee Position

In the past few days I have been sort of 'obsessing' about spanking positions.  I don't remember much about spankings during my early years and my parents didn't really use spanking as a form of correction during the years of my youth.  So my main exposure to spanking was in the school system.  My most memorable times were from my fourth, fifth and sixth grade teachers, which spanned the years 1957 though 1960.  Paddling was the standard and as a student was considered the 'ultament' punishment.  Naturally I was fascinated by the prospect of being paddled in front of my classmates, especially from the female authority figures represented by my fourth, fifth and sixth grade teachers.

Actually, I was a 'model' student, got good grades, did my schoolwork as requested and for the most part stayed out of trouble.  So much so that I never had the opportunity to experience the sting of the paddle being administered by one of my female teachers.  Looking back, its something that fills many hours of fantasies of re-doing several scenarios from my time in class.

The words, "Bend over and grab your ankles" was the instruction my teachers would use when they found it necessary to apply discipline to a naughty classmate, almost exclusively males.  I would watch with wide eyes as the teacher would make her paddle sing with a staccato 'pop'.  It was usually over in 5 or 6 swats but left quite an impression on me.

So it is probably no surprise that this position was something that filled many of my early fantasies.  I would visualize for years being instructed to bend over and grab my ankles prior to a powerful woman applying her paddle to my exposed backside.

However, I think that it has been since I have been with Cora that one of my favored positions is now the classic 'Over The Knee' position.  I am not sure why things have changed.  Perhaps its the maternal-ness of it.  Perhaps I missed out in my young years by not having spanked over my own mother's knee.  Perhaps its partly a result of reading stories where this position is utilized along with the plethora of OTK pictures on the net.  Don't get me wrong, Cora still has me 'bend over' for a strong application of her many paddles and I still find this position 'enjoyable', probably partly to my remininces of my grade school years.

I think that part of my attraction to the OTK position is the overall ritual of it.  First, there is the 'sentencing' portion where I have been informed that I am to be spanked for some kind of mis-behavior.  Once the time and place of the spanking has been determined, she first will place a straigh backed chair in position.  She then sits down and calls me to her right side (Cora is right handed).  She then prepares the spanking surface by un-doing my pants and having them drop to my ankles.  This is followed by any underwear that I may be wearing.

Once the initial preparations have been made follows one of the best parts of the ritual; the lifting of her skirts (assuming she is wearing skirts).  The lap that is then exposed, whether its clad in stockings, or bare, is a memorable sight even if it is all so brief.

Next is the firm nudge that send that unspoken message, "bend over, you are about to be spanked".  Once in place there is a moment of total submission.  My bottom is bared and in position to be spanked and there is some very intimate contact.  Depending on the situation, she may clamp certain 'parts' between her legs (this may vary depending on your gender, of course).

Then the spanking begins.  I truly believe the perfect implement for an OTK spanking is the hairbrush.  A full sized paddle is just too awkward to administer a 'proper' spanking and a smaller paddle may be too light.  A hairbrush weighs in with sufficient weight that its impact will definitely be noticed.  In addition, Cora has gotten really good with just her hand.  When I am spanked in this position, she often switches between her hand and her hairbrush.

Thus ends the ritual when she decides that I have been spanked sufficiently.  What is it about this ritual?  To me overall, its the 'erotic act of my submission to Cora's dominance'.  Being in this position of vulnerability has so many elements of 'erotic submission' that my head is overflowing with submissive energy.  Even if its a 'punishment' spanking, all the elements are there.  It brings me back to my grade school years, except this time, I am actually spanked.

Just prior to writing this post, I asked Cora to spank me in exactly the manner listed above.  She did and I was able to confirm my feelings about all the elements of the ritual.  The resultant tingling is also a delightful result.

It Takes Work

I spend quite a bit of time on the net.  Usually it involves reading the blogs from others who engage in Female Led Relationships, but I also subscribe to lots and lots of Yahoo Groups. 

One of those groups is 'Spanked_by_their_Wives' and is one of the more active groups and thanks to the moderator, is frequented by 'real' people.  Today one of the Wives posted something that really hit home with us.  Her post started with the acknowledgement that she was married to a 'great guy', but a recognition that a 'typical male needs to be put back in line once in a while'.  Well said.

Her post further described how their busy life was interfering with their FLR and she even took responsibility for 'letting it go too long' and had been 'remiss not to correct a few issues'.  She then described how she 're-acquainted' her husband with her hair brush.  From her comments it appears that he got the message and described how he did his 'chores' immediately after getting home from work.

Oh how this hit home.  (Pun Intended)

Our own relationship has been drifting in the same direction.  The stuff of life has been getting in the way of our FLR, something that both Cora and I consider a very important part of our relationship.

Cora and I first met over 5 years ago and are only 6 months from celebrating 5 wonderful years of living together.  Wonderful years, indeed.  As I have described in past posts, when I introduced Cora to spanking and stuff, she began by taking the 'submissive' side.  So we 'played' with things with her taking her share of spankings.  Of course, my main wiring is oriented toward me taking the submissive role and I really preferred it when Cora delivered spankings to me.  Ultimately, Cora's dominant side emerged and much to my delight, we engaged in a FLR where she is in charge and I am subject to discipline when she deems it necessary.

I certainly acknowledge that all relationships have their ups and downs and while Cora has not been as assertive about her role as I would like, we have a really, really great life together.  So, when I read the post on Spanked_by_their_Wives, I thought I'd take advantage and share it with Cora.  And we have been discussing this all day. 

Now, specifically, today Cora resolved a situation with her health insurance that had been bothering her for several days.  It had been really bothering her and she was dreading having to face it.  Coincidentally, she had designated today for me to help her go through all her documentation and try to get it resolved.  We did!

So once we had this 'life issue' behind us, we started discussing our FLR in the context of the post of the other woman.  I tried to point out to Cora that she has been 'holding back' and perhaps 'remiss' in not correcting a 'few issues'.

For example, during our photo session last Tuesday (resulting in the pix of Cora in her tight riding pants), I was having trouble with the flash in the strobe lights.  While I was trying to resolve this issue, Cora showed up all dressed up and ready to go.  She was in a great mood ready to do her part as Super-Model.  However, I was in a Grr Argh mood, with the problems I was having.  In essence I was being rude and off-putting.  Cora stepped out until I figured out how to work-around my problem.  Truly, this was behavior that should have earned me an on-the-spot spanking, or at least a 'Notice of Discipline' slip.  Instead, Cora just shrugged it off.  In discussions today, she indicated that she felt 'guilty' and did not pursue any actions towards me.

I pointed out that this should have been about my behavior and not about her taking on the 'guilt' of it.  We further discussed previous scenarios and I kept pointing out that she was taking on the responsibility for my behavior.  I think the light bulb  went on when I pointed out her way of handling things.

I really love all the aspects of our FLR, whether they encompass the 'fun spankings' Cora gives me or the times she needs to really 'lay down the law' and hold me accountable for my bad behavior.  Sure those times are no fun but I can tell that when she does hold me accountable, my focus returns and my behavior changes (at least for a while).  Its something that I not only ask for but need.  Need it bad.  Just like most of the guys in these FLR relationships (or at least according to the feedback I get from them).

I am hoping that Cora and I will take a view of our relationship from a higher altitude and re-new the dynamics that work so well for us.  In fact, I think I will re-negotiate our 'contract'.  Its about 3 years old and lots has happened during those years, such as our Notice of Discipline and Request for Discipline forms.  A new contract would probably make a good post here, on our blog, and if we get there we'll share it.

So, our thanks to the woman who posted her situation on 'Spanked_by_their_Wives'.  It opened up a very productive dialog.  In fact Cora instructed me to 'bend over' our bed, bared my bottom and proceeded to spank me with her hand, small paddle and one of her other 'Bedroom Rack' implements.  My bottom is still tingling.  I love it and love Cora even more!