Pegging

Human sexuality is an amazing thing and the subject of lots and lots of books, articles, movies and discussion between those of us affected by sexuality (that would be all of us).  There is a rainbow of orientations and I feel that I am no exception:  I am a submissive male.  And proud that I know that about myself.
I guess I was lucky to grow up in an environment devoid of guilt about sexuality.  So, I came to terms with my orientation early and have learned to enjoy (and exploit) it. So, it should be no surprise that I shared my submissive nature with Cora early in our relationship. My relationship with her is very rich and I believe we satisfy each other's needs in so many ways (not just the sexual needs, although we do a pretty good job there).

It was Deirdre of the 'Spanking My Husband' blog (sadly currently inactive) who came up with a piece of wisdom that really stuck with me and I like to refer to it often.  Some of the things I do with Cora might be labeled by others as 'humiliation'.  However, I really don't like that word or its inherent implication.  Instead, I like to think that when I bend over and present my bottom to Cora for a spanking, its an 'erotic act of my submission to her'.  I like that concept much better and it does better describe where my 'head' is at.

Many of you are familiar with our 'Notice of Discipline' and I have sent dozens of the original Microsoft Word file to many of you.  And its great to get the feedback on how well they have been received and even put to use. 

However, one thing I thought I would get questions about was the little item under 'Discipline Recommendation(s)': Pegging. 

Fellow blogger, Red over at 'Consensual Spanking', posted about this subject on November 30, 2011.  He got quite a bit of response and opened a poll.  The results of this poll is what made me feel much more comfortable about our own posting about this subject.  An admission that Cora has pegged me, too.

Red's poll (updated per December 17, 2011) currently shows 231 responses with 92 responders admitting that they had been pegged by their partners and 106 indicating that they had not been pegged but were interested.  That's almost 86% of responders indicating that they either had been or were open to the idea of being pegged.  Only 14 % indicated that they were not interested.  Wow!  I had no idea that Red's poll would be so overwhelmingly open to this subject.

In case you weren't aware, 'Pegging' is a term that was coined by a local columnist in the Seattle newspaper, 'The Stranger'.  And, if you don't know, 'Pegging' refers to being 'taken' by your Lady while she is wearing a 'Strap-On'.  There is an excellent description on 'Wikipedia'.  Just enter 'Pegging' into your search engine and you should easily find it.

So, I finally decided to 'come out of the closet' and admit that Pegging is a practice that Cora uses on me.  I have been reluctant to admit that we engage in it, but with the numbers from Red's poll, I decided to post about it.  Some connect this practice with homosexuality, but I can assure you, I am as heterosexual as they come.  (Not that I have anything against our homosexual brothers and sisters; in fact both Cora and I have several homosexual friends and embrace their sexuality, as well as our own).

While we don't really use Pegging as a form of 'punishment', it certainly fulfills Ms. Deirdre's definition:  I am feeling very submissive to Cora when she is 'taking me' but its a very erotic experience and feeling.  Erotic, indeed.

There is so much more that could be discussed about this and Cora and I would be willing to share some of our experiences, preferences for 'tools' and even some 'educational' material, but we thought we'd see the initial response.

What do you think?????????

Update:

The above was written at the beginning of December (with the exception of the updates to Red's poll data).  However, as most of you know, we like to include pictures that help illustrate the subject of the post.  In this case, we had nothing in our 'archives' that would be appropriate.  So we planned on taking some pictures that would show Cora in her Strap-on harness with the dildo 'mounted' accordingly.

Well, sometimes the best laid plans get delayed and this was no exception.  So finally earlier this evening after returning from a little shopping, Cora instructed me to 'stay downstairs'.  She had something planned.

So I occupied myself with some computer geek stuff and waited.  Soon I heard Cora come down the stairs and slip into the living room of our house.  As the lights on the stairs were dark I did not see her.  Soon, however, I heard her beckon me, "Come in here."

Much to my surprise, Cora had dressed up in one of her all-in-one girdles, stockings and boots.  In addition, she had donned her strap-on harness, a red dildo and trimmed everything in garland and a battery powered set of Holiday lights.  She topped it all off with a Santa hat.  I laughed out loud. 

"Lets take some pictures", she said, smiling.  So out came the camera and you can see some of the results.  I must say that Cora's creativity NEVER ceases to amaze me.  I have no idea where she comes up with these zany concoctions but I am so thankful that she does.  Getting her in front of a camera is always an adventure.  Oh, how I love her!

Cora and Her Electric, Holiday Dildo

So Happy Holidays to you all.  And for the gentlemen who read this Cora has this advice: 

"Be Good or Else!"

The Classic Over The Knee Position

In the past few days I have been sort of 'obsessing' about spanking positions.  I don't remember much about spankings during my early years and my parents didn't really use spanking as a form of correction during the years of my youth.  So my main exposure to spanking was in the school system.  My most memorable times were from my fourth, fifth and sixth grade teachers, which spanned the years 1957 though 1960.  Paddling was the standard and as a student was considered the 'ultament' punishment.  Naturally I was fascinated by the prospect of being paddled in front of my classmates, especially from the female authority figures represented by my fourth, fifth and sixth grade teachers.

Actually, I was a 'model' student, got good grades, did my schoolwork as requested and for the most part stayed out of trouble.  So much so that I never had the opportunity to experience the sting of the paddle being administered by one of my female teachers.  Looking back, its something that fills many hours of fantasies of re-doing several scenarios from my time in class.

The words, "Bend over and grab your ankles" was the instruction my teachers would use when they found it necessary to apply discipline to a naughty classmate, almost exclusively males.  I would watch with wide eyes as the teacher would make her paddle sing with a staccato 'pop'.  It was usually over in 5 or 6 swats but left quite an impression on me.

So it is probably no surprise that this position was something that filled many of my early fantasies.  I would visualize for years being instructed to bend over and grab my ankles prior to a powerful woman applying her paddle to my exposed backside.

However, I think that it has been since I have been with Cora that one of my favored positions is now the classic 'Over The Knee' position.  I am not sure why things have changed.  Perhaps its the maternal-ness of it.  Perhaps I missed out in my young years by not having spanked over my own mother's knee.  Perhaps its partly a result of reading stories where this position is utilized along with the plethora of OTK pictures on the net.  Don't get me wrong, Cora still has me 'bend over' for a strong application of her many paddles and I still find this position 'enjoyable', probably partly to my remininces of my grade school years.

I think that part of my attraction to the OTK position is the overall ritual of it.  First, there is the 'sentencing' portion where I have been informed that I am to be spanked for some kind of mis-behavior.  Once the time and place of the spanking has been determined, she first will place a straigh backed chair in position.  She then sits down and calls me to her right side (Cora is right handed).  She then prepares the spanking surface by un-doing my pants and having them drop to my ankles.  This is followed by any underwear that I may be wearing.

Once the initial preparations have been made follows one of the best parts of the ritual; the lifting of her skirts (assuming she is wearing skirts).  The lap that is then exposed, whether its clad in stockings, or bare, is a memorable sight even if it is all so brief.

Next is the firm nudge that send that unspoken message, "bend over, you are about to be spanked".  Once in place there is a moment of total submission.  My bottom is bared and in position to be spanked and there is some very intimate contact.  Depending on the situation, she may clamp certain 'parts' between her legs (this may vary depending on your gender, of course).

Then the spanking begins.  I truly believe the perfect implement for an OTK spanking is the hairbrush.  A full sized paddle is just too awkward to administer a 'proper' spanking and a smaller paddle may be too light.  A hairbrush weighs in with sufficient weight that its impact will definitely be noticed.  In addition, Cora has gotten really good with just her hand.  When I am spanked in this position, she often switches between her hand and her hairbrush.

Thus ends the ritual when she decides that I have been spanked sufficiently.  What is it about this ritual?  To me overall, its the 'erotic act of my submission to Cora's dominance'.  Being in this position of vulnerability has so many elements of 'erotic submission' that my head is overflowing with submissive energy.  Even if its a 'punishment' spanking, all the elements are there.  It brings me back to my grade school years, except this time, I am actually spanked.

Just prior to writing this post, I asked Cora to spank me in exactly the manner listed above.  She did and I was able to confirm my feelings about all the elements of the ritual.  The resultant tingling is also a delightful result.

It Takes Work

I spend quite a bit of time on the net.  Usually it involves reading the blogs from others who engage in Female Led Relationships, but I also subscribe to lots and lots of Yahoo Groups. 

One of those groups is 'Spanked_by_their_Wives' and is one of the more active groups and thanks to the moderator, is frequented by 'real' people.  Today one of the Wives posted something that really hit home with us.  Her post started with the acknowledgement that she was married to a 'great guy', but a recognition that a 'typical male needs to be put back in line once in a while'.  Well said.

Her post further described how their busy life was interfering with their FLR and she even took responsibility for 'letting it go too long' and had been 'remiss not to correct a few issues'.  She then described how she 're-acquainted' her husband with her hair brush.  From her comments it appears that he got the message and described how he did his 'chores' immediately after getting home from work.

Oh how this hit home.  (Pun Intended)

Our own relationship has been drifting in the same direction.  The stuff of life has been getting in the way of our FLR, something that both Cora and I consider a very important part of our relationship.

Cora and I first met over 5 years ago and are only 6 months from celebrating 5 wonderful years of living together.  Wonderful years, indeed.  As I have described in past posts, when I introduced Cora to spanking and stuff, she began by taking the 'submissive' side.  So we 'played' with things with her taking her share of spankings.  Of course, my main wiring is oriented toward me taking the submissive role and I really preferred it when Cora delivered spankings to me.  Ultimately, Cora's dominant side emerged and much to my delight, we engaged in a FLR where she is in charge and I am subject to discipline when she deems it necessary.

I certainly acknowledge that all relationships have their ups and downs and while Cora has not been as assertive about her role as I would like, we have a really, really great life together.  So, when I read the post on Spanked_by_their_Wives, I thought I'd take advantage and share it with Cora.  And we have been discussing this all day. 

Now, specifically, today Cora resolved a situation with her health insurance that had been bothering her for several days.  It had been really bothering her and she was dreading having to face it.  Coincidentally, she had designated today for me to help her go through all her documentation and try to get it resolved.  We did!

So once we had this 'life issue' behind us, we started discussing our FLR in the context of the post of the other woman.  I tried to point out to Cora that she has been 'holding back' and perhaps 'remiss' in not correcting a 'few issues'.

For example, during our photo session last Tuesday (resulting in the pix of Cora in her tight riding pants), I was having trouble with the flash in the strobe lights.  While I was trying to resolve this issue, Cora showed up all dressed up and ready to go.  She was in a great mood ready to do her part as Super-Model.  However, I was in a Grr Argh mood, with the problems I was having.  In essence I was being rude and off-putting.  Cora stepped out until I figured out how to work-around my problem.  Truly, this was behavior that should have earned me an on-the-spot spanking, or at least a 'Notice of Discipline' slip.  Instead, Cora just shrugged it off.  In discussions today, she indicated that she felt 'guilty' and did not pursue any actions towards me.

I pointed out that this should have been about my behavior and not about her taking on the 'guilt' of it.  We further discussed previous scenarios and I kept pointing out that she was taking on the responsibility for my behavior.  I think the light bulb  went on when I pointed out her way of handling things.

I really love all the aspects of our FLR, whether they encompass the 'fun spankings' Cora gives me or the times she needs to really 'lay down the law' and hold me accountable for my bad behavior.  Sure those times are no fun but I can tell that when she does hold me accountable, my focus returns and my behavior changes (at least for a while).  Its something that I not only ask for but need.  Need it bad.  Just like most of the guys in these FLR relationships (or at least according to the feedback I get from them).

I am hoping that Cora and I will take a view of our relationship from a higher altitude and re-new the dynamics that work so well for us.  In fact, I think I will re-negotiate our 'contract'.  Its about 3 years old and lots has happened during those years, such as our Notice of Discipline and Request for Discipline forms.  A new contract would probably make a good post here, on our blog, and if we get there we'll share it.

So, our thanks to the woman who posted her situation on 'Spanked_by_their_Wives'.  It opened up a very productive dialog.  In fact Cora instructed me to 'bend over' our bed, bared my bottom and proceeded to spank me with her hand, small paddle and one of her other 'Bedroom Rack' implements.  My bottom is still tingling.  I love it and love Cora even more!

The Rest of the Story

... Or How to Have Fun With the Sales Staff at the Tack Shop

In a previous post a week ago, we described our preparations for going 'out and about' and the spanking fun we had while getting dressed.  We ventured out and crossed Lake Washington on one of our very rare sunny Northwest days in November.  The view of the lake, Mt. Rainier and the Cascades was awesome, perhaps only overshadowed by glimpses of Cora wearing a tight pair of jeans.

We made our first stop, then headed for our second destination.  However, the route took us by a store I have been wanting to take Cora to for some time: a Tack shop.  I asked her if she wanted to stop and she replied, "Sure".

Now to bring you up to date, Cora was quite the HorseWoman while growing up.  She lived in the Northwest Illinois countryside and there were several stables in the area, some of which raised thoroughbred horses.  Cora became acquainted with these stables and quickly gained the trust of the owners.  Often Cora would exercise some of the horses by taking them for rides in the countryside.  As you can imagine, Cora specialized in some of the more 'troublesome' members of the stables and found that she could 'tame' them rather effectively, a trait she still possesses in dealing with our pups (oh, and I guess you could include me, also!).  She definitely has earned the title, "HorseWhisperer".  She often reminisces about that time in her life with a great deal of fondness.  She truly loved her horses.

Cora and 'Bristol Cream' (a Lippizzon) about 1971

Cora still has some of her riding equipment, such as boots, a cute hat, spurs and so on. (She is wearing some of these items in the picture shown above.)  However, one thing she lacked was a good pair of riding pants.  Now, I have seen many fetish sites that feature women wearing tight riding pants, boots and usually shown holding the traditional riding crop.  Its something that is not one of my main fetishes but I do appreciate a shapely woman wearing tight riding pants.

So, into the store we went.  Interestingly most of the sales staff and patrons were female (should that be 'matrons'?).  And while they weren't wearing riding pants, they were wearing very tight jeans.  It was definitely 'eye candy' paradise for me.  And Cora fit right in, wearing a very tight pair of jeans, too.  Oh, and don't forget she was wearing a girdle underneath and if you looked close, you could see evidence of those wonderful 'garter bumps'.

Cora checked out the racks of clothing and soon eliminated all but one or two pair of riding pants.  She gathered up her prizes and asked one of the sales staff where she could try them on.  "Over there", the sales lady pointed.  It took a while for her to squeeze into the first pair of riding pants but she finally appeared to have them checked out. 

"Wow", was my response.  Did she look good, or what.  The smile on the face of the sales lady indicated that she, too thought Cora looked great.  And oh how the garter bumps showed off! 

Feeling somewhat cheeky (after all I was in the presence of a very sexy vision and probably was shifting to the control of my second head), I made a comment in front of the sales lady, "Wow, the garter bumps really show, don't they?".  The sales lady quickly replied, "Oh, don't get naughty!"  Cora's response was one of those 'looks' that women are so good at.  I do think Cora missed an opportunity to issue one of her 'Notices of Discipline' slips but her purse was several feet away in the dressing room.  I can only imagine what the sales lady would have thought if Cora had whipped one out and filled it out in front of her.

OK, I was having some fun with the situation and my comment may have been a little inappropriate, but I just couldn't resist.  Sometimes Cora and I have fun dropping little hints about our lifestyle - nothing blatant, and we do get some knowing smiles from some of the sales people (mostly women), so I am guessing that we are not totally alone with our little 'secrets'. 

Anyway, Cora tried on another pair which she finally selected.  When the sales lady asked, "Will that be all?", I replied, "No", and pulled Cora to another area in the shop.

While I was waiting for Cora to try on her riding pants, I explored the shop and yes, you guessed it - located the riding crops.  We headed over to the rack that included dressage whips and riding crops.  Cora took a look and her first inclination was "I don't need another one".  However, I pointed to one towards the back and in the bottom of the rack.  It was one of those riding crops with the end shaped like a small palm. 

Cora's face lit up.  "Oh, I must have one of those!", she exclaimed.  "Do they have them in black?" 

"Right here", I replied and pulled one out of the rack.  So we headed back to the counter to pay for our new-found treasures.  The sales lady exclaimed, "Oh, one of our 'spankers'", upon seeing our riding crop selection.  Cora and I could only look at each other.  I am guessing that we had been exposed.  I really doubt if anyone uses one of the riding crops with the little palm on the end for their horse.  However, based upon the number of them in the rack, I am guessing they sell quite a few.  And they just can't not know.

I had hoped to get pictures of Cora in her riding pants later that day but we were quite exhausted when we finally finished all of our stops and had returned home.  However, she did agree to a photo session yesterday and some of the results appear on this post.  Don't you think that Cora can be a very effective trainer of horses (of all kinds)?

Random Punishment Selector

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Finding Her Power

There has been quite a bit of 'outside stuff' happening here, lately.  Its kinda personal so I won't go into the details.  I'll just say its been zapping our energy, especially Cora's.

Saturday, I asked Cora to get dressed as I wanted to visit a few stores across the lake in Bellevue.  So it was a surprise when she put on a girdle.  And a ivory colored one at that!  She usually prefers her black girdles but I love the way a lighter color looks on her.  Quite frankly, a lighter color really shows off her curves much better.  It was obvious that Cora was feeling especially powerful, this morning.  Naturally, I began following her around like a puppy while she engaged her dressing routine.

When it came for me to get dressed, Cora beckoned to me, "Now where are those panties?"  What!!!  Cora was going to 'make' me wear her panties?  Its been a while, so it was a very pleasant surprise.  At this point in time Cora was still in her girdle, stockings but had slipped on her heels.  Needless to say, she looked very powerful and I was very 'aroused'.

Cora held up the panties for me to step into.  So, I placed one leg at a time into the appropriate openings.  However, rather than pulling them up, she had me hobble over to the bed, with the panties still at my knees. 

"Bend Over!", she instructed.  Naturally, I complied.  I was wondering where Cora was getting all this energy, but I was not complaining.  Cora pulled her small paddle off the 'bedroom rack'.  She returned and commenced to paddle my bare bottom, panties at my knees. 

It was obvious that Cora was 'into it' as there wasn't really a warm up.  The smacks of her small paddle were echoing through the room as my bottom was feeling a rather intense sting.  She finally stopped and instructed me to finish dressing.

Later as we were putting our pups in their kennels prior to our departure, I was admiring Cora.  She had slipped on a tight pair of jeans.  Now, there is something about the way a woman looks when wearing a girdle.  And Cora in her jeans that day, was no exception.  She just looked hot.

I couldn't resist. The combination of Cora 'feeling her power' along with the curvy image of her got the better of me.  I bent over our kitchen table and Cora figured out what I was asking.  Soon I was feeling the results of about four of her selections from her 'main rack'.  However, I was still feeling like I need just a little more (greedy sub that I am!).

I grabbed the Spencer from the rack and asked Cora for 'a little more'.  Of course, she happily complied.  Soon I heard that characteristic whistle that only the Spencer paddle makes when its swung with enough vigor.  "Splat"  The paddle landed and I felt the result of the impact.  To quote the song, "It hurts so good!"

It was after only one or two swats that Cora re-positioned herself a little more to her left.  This resulted in a better view of her.  Prior to her moving, I couldn't see much of her, but now I had a wonderful view of the seat of her jeans.  I guess I don't have to say much about the way she fills out her jeans but the view just added to the 'pleasure' of the spanking. 

Finally after about 25 swats or so of the Spencer, she let me up.  Wow, I felt it all day long.

So, we ventured out and about on the 'East Side'.  We visited train shops, electronic shops and I even suggested to Cora, "Do you want to check out tight riding pants at that Tack Shop?" 

"Sure", she replied.

But then, that's another story.

Spankin', er Pushin' Too Hard

I generally don't write about anything not related to our Female Led Relationship and that may explain why we haven't posted as much lately as we used to.  I have been involved in assisting in teaching a class, Cora has been decorating and undecorating for the Holidays and our pups have turned 7, 8 and 9 years old.  (Gosh, it seems like yesterday that Devi and Gypsy were just puppies!)

So it was with a bit of glee that yesterday I heard Cora instruct me "to get upstairs and prepare for a spanking".  Needless to say, I stopped what I was doing and went upstairs and peeled down.  Soon I heard her footsteps up the stairs and down the hall to our bedroom.

Now, if you have followed us for a while, you know that music plays a very important part of our lifestyle.  It was on our second date that while showing Cora my studio, she asked me to "Turn it up!"  That certainly caught my attention.  So, we have this really cool piece of electronic equipment called a 'Squeezebox'.  It allows me to assemble a play list using i-Tunes on our Mac and stream the tunes to the Squeezebox over our wireless network.  The Squeezebox is connected to our main receiver using a digital connection and the resultant music sounds great.

In addition, we have a very low power FM transmitter connected to the receiver and can broadcast the play list to any room in our house that has an FM receiver.  And of course, that includes our bedroom.

So while waiting for Cora, various songs from our 'classic rock' play list are filling the room.  Finally Cora entered and began gathering her hairbrush, ferule, small paddle and SMTR paddle from her bedroom rack, arranging them on the bed for her use.  When she grabs all four items from her rack, I know that she intends to use them all and I realize that I am in for a 'serious' spanking.

Once she had prepared her 'tools' she beckoned me over her lap.  Willingly, over I went and took a deep breath.  She began with a hand spanking.  Now, Cora has gotten quite good at administering a spanking with just her hand.  She can approach the intensity of a hairbrush with the main difference the rather sensual feel of skin on skin, instead of wood on skin.  Overall, its a very nice feeling.

I can't remember which song was playing when Cora first started her spanking of me, but soon the Seed's "Pushin' Too Hard" began to play.  Cora loves to spank along with the rhythm of the song and soon my bottom was being spanked along with the drum beat.  I think she had progressed to her hairbrush by then.

Keep in mind that Cora was spanking me 'Just Because She Wanted To', so we were both in a 'fun' mood.  So, I (being the cheeky one that I am) began to sing along with lyrics "You're Spanking Too Hard".  And there is a chorus in the song that goes, "Too Hard, Too Hard" and of course I took advantage of singing along with that part too.

Soon we were both laughing and giggling as Cora continued the spanking.  However, once the song was over, there wasn't much reason to continue.  By then she had turned my bottom a nice shade of red and instilled that nice, warm, tingly feeling that I 'enjoyed' the rest of the day.